Love's Indecision Read online

  Warrior Camp, Book 2

  Love's

  Indecision

  Joyee Flynn

  Published by Silver Publishing Publisher of Erotic Romance ABOUT THE E-BOOK YOU HAVE PURCHASED:

  Your non-refundable purchase of this e-book allows you to only ONE LEGAL copy for your own personal reading on your own personal computer or device. You do not have resell or distribution rights without the prior written permission of both the publisher and the copyright owner of this book. This book cannot be copied in any format, sold, or otherwise transferred from your computer to another through upload to a file sharing peer to peer program, for free or for a fee, or as a prize in any contest. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law. Distribution of this e-book, in whole or in part, online, offline, in print or in any way or any other method currently known or yet to be invented, is forbidden. If you do not want this book anymore, you must delete it from your computer.

  WARNING: The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000."

  Cover Artist: Reese Dante Editor: Alison Todd Love’s Indecision © 2010 Joyee Flynn ISBN # 978-1-920468-67-5

  All rights reserved.

  ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: This literary work may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, including electronic or photographic reproduction, in whole or in part, without express written permission. All characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead is strictly coincidental.

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  SILVER PUBLISHING

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  To my Yahoo Group:

  You guys fucking rock!

  Thanks for pushing me so hard to get this book done. Your love and support make being an author fun. CHAPTER 1

  "Mind if I join you?" A voice asked, pulling me out of the calm, relaxing shower I was taking. Opening my eyes I saw Nate Hathus standing a few feet in front of me. He was completely naked, gorgeous, and my student.

  "Why are you in the instructor's shower room, Nate?" I asked, turning from where I was leaning my back against the cool tile to facing it instead. I couldn't talk to him when we were both naked like this, plus I needed to hide my now raging hard-on.

  "Our showers were full," Nate purred, turning on the shower next to me. I froze when his hip brushed against my ass. "Besides, it seemed a shame to know you were in here wet and naked and not get to watch."

  "Don't do this, Nate," I answered, angling my body so my back was to him once again. "I think you should go."

  "You don't want me to leave, do you Matteo?"

  No, I really didn't. But Nate was twenty-four, and while he'd be considered an adult in the human world, in our world it meant he hadn't even gone through his transition yet. We didn't transition into full vampires and come into our powers until midnight of our twenty-fifth birthday. And while I wanted Nate more than I needed my next breath, he was my student and as such, off limits.

  "Yes, please go," I whispered as I felt him move closer, the heat from his body causing me to shake. Instead of listening, Nate placed his hand on my side and started massaging my hip. I wasn't able to keep the groan from passing my lips.

  "You want me as much as I want you, Matteo," Nate answered, stepping so close I felt his hard cock press against my thigh. "Why do you deny it?"

  "Because you're my student," I replied, stepping away from him. "You're too young to know what you want, Nate."

  "I'm not some wide-eyed virgin," Nate snapped. Just the idea of someone else touching him, being with him, set me off. In a flash I had him against the wall, my entire body pressed flush against his. My hands were on either side of his head as I leaned in so close our noses touched.

  "Who have you been with, Nate?" I growled possessively. I knew it was wrong, and that I shouldn't care. He wasn't mine to have. But the beautiful man in front of me was my Achilles' heel, had been from the moment I first met him. "Who has touched you? I will fucking kill them."

  "No one you know," Nate panted as his hands moved to my hips and pulled me closer.

  The instant our cocks brushed together I was done for. I mashed my mouth down on his, finally tasting the sweet lips I'd been dreaming of. Nate parted his lips as he moaned, so I slid my tongue into his mouth to explore him. He tasted even better than I could have ever imagined.

  He yelped when I pulled his legs up and wrapped them around my hips. Taking advantage of it, I claimed his mouth again. Demanding his submission, I took everything he had to offer me. "You shouldn't play with fire, Nate."

  "I want to be burned by you," he moaned as he started to kiss the side of my neck. "Please don't deny us this anymore, Matteo."

  "Fuck," I groaned as he began biting on my earlobe. I shook as his hands roamed my back, loving the feel of the smaller man finally in my arms. "Be sure this is what you want, Nate. My control is not limitless."

  "Fuck me, Matteo," Nate hissed in my ear, making my cock twitch against his. "I want you pounding my ass. I need to feel your cock inside me."

  Any rational thought left in my head flew out the window. Reaching over to one of the shelves, I grabbed the shampoo. It wasn't lube but it would work for now. I squeezed some on my hands before dropping it back on the shelf and moving them to his ass. Slowly, I slid a finger into his tight hole as he cried out and shook in my arms. Bracing us against the shower wall gave me the leverage I needed to hold Nate while still being able to stretch him out.

  "I've wanted this for so long," I whispered against his lips before delving back into that sweet mouth. He moaned and wrapped his legs tighter around me as I slipped a second finger into his hole. I almost regretted not being able to take the time to lick and rim his ass with my tongue, but there was no way I would have the control for that much foreplay.

  "Please hurry, Matteo," Nate whimpered as he licked the side of my neck. "I need to have you in me."

  "Okay, baby," I answered, quickly pushing in a third finger and moving them around to stretch him out. I had the same need to be in him as he had for me to take him.

  "I'm not going to last much longer," he panted, pulling his head back to look into my eyes. The fierceness of need I could see there was amazing. "Fuck me now. Please, Matteo, I'm ready."

  Instead, I rubbed the tips of my fingers over his sweet spot as I kept stretching him out. I watched, completely enthralled, as he stiffened in my arms before his cock exploded against my stomach. Nate cried out loudly, moving his hips so that he impaled himself further on my fingers and rubbed his dick against my abs.

  "We should stop here," I said as I leaned forward and touched our foreheads together when he came down from his climax. "This shouldn't have happened."

  "You wanted it to as much as I did," Nate said, still trying to catch his breath. "I don't want to stop. I want you to fuck me like you've never fucked anyone before."

  "Nate, don't push me," I growled, desperately wanting to do what he said. Instead I pulled my fingers out of him and let him slide down until his feet touched the floor. "This is wrong. We can't do this."

  "It's not wrong," Nate yelled, shocking me down to my core. I'd never heard him raise his voice before, especially not to me. "Fine, I'm all stretched and ready to go. If you won't fuck me, I'm sure I can find someone else who will."

  He didn't get more than two steps away from me before I was on him again. The idea of someone else touching him, especially after what we just shared, had me seeing red.

  "You want me to fuck you, Nate?"

  "Yes, I
want you, Matteo," he panted, unable to move, seeing as I had his chest pinned against the wall. My body surrounded his smaller one completely as I held us both facing the tile. "And you want me."

  "God help me, I do," I answered as I lined up my cock with his perfect little hole. Gently, I pushed in, stopping after passing the first ring. "You're so fucking tight, Nate."

  "I said I wasn't a virgin," Nate seemed to have trouble talking, "I didn't say I'd had anyone in my ass before."

  "I'm your first?" I asked, a thrill shooting through my entire body at the idea of being the only person in the man before me. "I should have prepared you more."

  "It feels perfect, Matteo," he replied, turning to smile at me over his shoulder. "You're a perfect fit."

  "Fuck," I groaned, loving that little smile of his and the fact that I was pleasing him. Not being able to hold still any longer I pushed more of my cock into him. I slowly worked it in and out of his very tight ass, grabbing his hips once I had worked more than halfway into him. "So fucking tight. Your ass is like heaven."

  Nate moaned, turning his head to the side so that his cheek was against the tile. He reached back and grabbed my hips, pulling me to him. "Harder, Matteo. Don't hold back, take me."

  "As you wish," I purred, licking his lips before pulling back and slamming my cock all the way into him. We both moaned loudly when I was seated all the way in. When I started moving again my pace was fast and hard. Nate moved his hands to brace himself against the wall as I grunted and pounded my cock into him.

  "Fuck, you're so huge," Nate cried out. "Slam that massive cock into me."

  I just about swallowed my tongue as his dirty words caused my cock to twitch inside of him. I didn't think I could fuck him any harder, but I was wrong. The force of my thrusts was too much for a virgin ass but I had no reason or control left.

  Just as I was getting close I licked the side of his neck, wanting to sink my fangs into his tender skin. He smelled so fucking good.

  "Bite me, Matteo," Nate moaned. "Make me yours forever."

  That got my attention. I hadn't realized until he said it, but that was exactly what I wanted. Turning my head away from his neck I reached around in front of him and grabbed his hard dick. It only took a few strokes with my hand before he screamed, coming all over my hand and the shower wall. The muscles in his perfect ass clamped down on my cock.

  "Fuck!" I roared as I climaxed, shooting my load into Nate. I kept thrusting my hips into him hard, drawing out my orgasm. When my dick was finally spent we slumped to the ground until I was sitting on my heels, Nate's back pressed against my chest, his tight ass still around my cock. After a few moments of post orgasmic bliss the guilt started to set in.

  I pulled Nate off my lap and moved to sit with my back against the wall. Resting my head against my knees, I tried desperately to catch my breath.

  "What's wrong, Matteo?" Nate asked kneeling in front of me.

  "Oh nothing," I snorted. "I just fucked one of my students and almost claimed him. I am fan-fucking-tastic."

  "There's nothing wrong with what we did," Nate whispered, almost as if trying to convince himself more than me.

  "It can never happen again," I answered, making sure I was looking him right in the eye. "I mean that, Nate. Don't ever come to me like this again."

  "You don't mean that," Nate gasped, dropping the hand he'd stretched out to me. "Matteo, don't do this."

  "I'm stopping this before it starts," I replied, shaking my head. "This was a mistake, a horrible mistake."

  "I'm not a mistake," Nate whispered as he started to back away from me. "Don't do this, Matteo. Don't take this away from us."

  "There is no us, Nate," I said firmly, knowing in my heart it was a lie. There was very much an 'us', and I wanted there to be. "This should never have happened."

  "You don't mean that."

  "I do mean that, Nate," I replied, squaring my shoulders to leave no room for argument. "This was a mistake, it will never happen again. I won't ever touch you again, Nate."

  "No," Nate whispered. Tears started to fall down his cheeks. Seeing the pain I was causing him made me want to do nothing but pull him into my arms and comfort him. But I knew this was best for him. Nate had so much promise, and was so young. He didn't need to be tied to a centuriesold warrior, he needed to explore life. I couldn't let him miss out on that, no matter how much I wanted him.

  "I'm sorry I let this happen," I said as I got to my feet. I reached out a hand to help Nate up. He looked at it like it was a snake before his gaze went back to my eyes.

  "It wasn't a mistake," he sniffled as he got to his feet without my help and backed away. "I'm not sorry it happened, so don't you dare apologize."

  Before I could say anything else, he turned and ran from the showers. I stood there like an idiot, unable to move. It felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest and gone with him. Turning, I went to clean up in the water. I sighed as I washed Nate's cum off my hand and his scent off my body. It felt more like I was washing away the best thing that ever happened to me.

  Shutting off the water, I grabbed a towel and dried off. Never mind that being with Nate was the best sex I could ever remember having. Even if I ignored how much I wanted to claim him, make him mine forever, it hurt to wash him off me. I would have loved to walk around smelling like the gorgeous, wonderful man I just hurt. CHAPTER 2

  The next few days I went through the motions of my responsibilities knowing my heart wasn't into it. Nate avoided me like the plague, not that I blamed him. Even my best friend was starting to notice. The third day, I looked up from my work to see Dimitri standing in the doorway of my office looking extremely pissed off.

  "Want to explain why my best instructor and student are walking around like zombies?" he growled as he came into the office and shut the door. "Start talking, Matteo. I gave you guys a few days, hoping this would resolve itself. But no more. I'm officially sticking my nose into this."

  "I fucked up," I answered quietly, dropping my head in my hands. "I so fucked up, Dimitri."

  "You slept with him, didn't you?"

  The lump that formed in my throat was so large I couldn't talk. Instead I just looked at him and nodded, feeling the tears burning in my eyes.

  "Fuck, Matteo!" Dimitri yelled. "How can I be pissed with you when you're obviously hurting? Tell me what happened?"

  "The little siren cornered me in the shower," I choked out, wiping my eyes. "I lost all control and fucked him against the shower wall."

  "It was… I mean… Nate agreed to it, right?"

  It took me a minute to get what Dimitri was hinting at. When I did, I saw red. "I would never rape him! Of course it was fucking consensual."

  "Okay. Okay, Matteo," he said quietly, holding his hands out in front of him in surrender. "I'm just trying to figure out why this is such a big deal? So, you guys finally had sex. I've been waiting for that to happen for months, I know you love him."

  His statement hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew I lusted after Nate, but love? Did I love Nate?

  "I can see the look on your face, dude," Dimitri said as he took a seat in front of my desk. "Yes, you love Nate. It's written all over you every time you look at him."

  "God, I'm a selfish bastard," I replied, letting my head thump on the desk. "I do love him. Which makes me believe even more that I'm doing the right thing; I should never have touched him, though."

  "Okay, so you guys had sex in the shower, then what?"

  "I told him it was a mistake and that it would never happen again."

  "You're a fucking idiot, you know that, right?" Dimitri grumbled. "You're pulling the same shit Alexander pulled on me. And you saw how well that went."

  "It's not the same," I replied, defending myself. "He's just a kid. My student, for god's sake. Nate's not even hit his transition; he can't know what he wants."

  "He's not a kid, Matteo," Dimitri said, running his fingers through his hair and taking a deep breath. "Yes, he's not transitione
d yet, but he's not a child. Nate loves you, and you love him. I'm not really seeing why this is confusing for you."

  "He deserves better than some centuries-old warrior. Nate's young, and full of life," I answered shaking my head. "You know how we change after our transitions, he might not even be the same man."

  "That's bullshit, and you know it," Dimitri replied, smacking his hand on the top of the desk and looking like he wished it were me. "Yeah, we change after our transitions, but not our core personality. And no one said anything about mating for eternity with Nate, just be with him."

  "Yeah, no one mentioned mating," I laughed. At first it was just a chuckle, but it turned into a hysterical, 'I've lost my mind' kind of laugh. Then the laughs turned into sobs and I thunked my head back down on the desk… repeatedly.

  "Talk to me, Matteo," Dimitri said gently as he rubbed my back. I hadn't even heard him move from where he was seated. "I can't help you if you won't talk to me."

  "Like you talked to me when you were having problems with Alexander?"

  "One, it was Alexander jerking me around," he answered, going very still. "Two, you're right, I should have talked to you about it. I realized that after things got better. Maybe if I'd had the help of my best friend before everything got so out of control, things would have turned out differently."

  That got me to lift my head and look at him. I could see the stark honesty on Dimitri's face. "You never told me that."

  "I was embarrassed," he replied, shrugging. "I was humiliated when it was happening, and embarrassed afterwards that I didn't have the balls to seek help. You have no idea how many times since Alexander and I worked things out that I wished I'd sought you out earlier."

  "Thanks, that means a lot to me," I answered. In a surprising move, I stood and hugged my best friend. At first he was stiff in my arms but then he hugged me back. "I thought I failed you as a friend. All I kept thinking about was what I had done wrong to cause you not to trust me, why you wouldn't confide in me."

  "It wasn't you, Matteo. You're like a brother to me, always have been," Dimitri said, rubbing my back as we kept hugging. "Don't make the same mistakes I did, brother. Talk to me."