Love's Confinement Read online

  “Spill,” I ordered as Theo plopped on the sofa after shucking his suit jacket.

  “No, no issues until tomorrow,” he argued, closing his eyes. “Tomorrow, Evan.”

  “I don’t think this can wait,” I hedged, eyeing two of our newest warriors. I sighed when they shook their heads at the same time. “Spill already.”

  “So, Lloyd’s kinda dead,” Bowie muttered, scrubbing his hand over his head.

  Theo’s head shot up as his eyes went wide. I had a different reaction. “How can he kinda be dead? Is he dead or not?”

  “Oh, he’s very dead,” Roarke snickered, leaning against the wall as if ready to watch the show of the two young warriors squirm.

  “What happened?” Theo whispered as his gaze darted between them.

  “Lloyd panicked about going to the council and tried to claim me as if that would save him,” Bowie explained. “Things kind of spiraled out from there.”

  I glanced at Theo and we both busted out laughing. Not only was that the stupidest idea on the planet, but Lloyd being dead was great news. He was a loose cannon and huge threat to Theo. Even if he hadn’t pulled the shit today at the funeral, he wanted the import company that had been up to no good. Lloyd had thought if he’d pointed us to the cruise ships, we’d be so busy and miss what he’d been up to.

  We weren’t that stupid.

  “Define spiraled out?” Theo inquired when we calmed down some… And by some I meant we weren’t crying we were laughing so hard, just little spurts here and there.

  Zibon cleared his throat. “I hit him with a shovel in the head a few times when he jumped on Bowie’s back. We were in the garage and it was right there. Lloyd behaved after we got away from the humans, muttering this wasn’t over and Theo couldn’t prove shit. Then we got to the garage, and he just pounced, screeching Bowie wouldn’t turn in his own mate and would do anything for his bite and be his bitch now. I couldn’t shoot him and not have tons of people come racing out.”

  “No, good point,” I agreed.

  “Oh, yeah, that’s the short, smart version,” Roarke drawled, about to bust out laughing from the way his face was bright red. “I was in the kitchen, already heading after them, and I go rushing out there in time to see Zibon grab the shovel and whack Lloyd in the head and get him off Bowie. But then he kept hitting him, yelling, no biting! As if Lloyd was a bug from some Stephen King book.”

  “Yeah, I panicked,” Zibon agreed, moving his hands to his hips and nodding. “We’re warned about Zakasacs biting us for blood and attacking with claws. If he’d jumped us with claws, I could have handled that, but trying to mate Bowie to stay out of jail, I totally freaked.”

  “Dude, claiming me against my will is a death sentence and he would have been executed and the bond broken,” Bowie reminded him.

  Zibon winced. “I remembered that after.” He glanced between Roarke and me. “How much trouble am I in?”

  “He wasn’t facing me,” Roarke playfully drawled. “For all I know, Lloyd was still lucid after the first shot and fangs out towards your leg, trying to bite you too. I’d say it’s a valid kill of a douchebag.”

  “I think he was out,” Zibon admitted with a frown and then shook his head. “I don’t know. It happened so fast.”

  “Doesn’t matter,” I chuckled, taking pity on the guy. “He tried to claim Bowie against his will. He was dead the second he attempted it, Zibon. You just carried out the sentence before the council could rule. Bowie’s your witness and so is Roarke. We’ll tell Alexander and file the report.”

  “And I’m free of Lloyd so expect a really big thank you present from me,” Theo added brightly. “Want a car? Do you guys get vacations? I have some cruise ships not in use.”

  “Dude, can we all take a cruise?” Bowie asked, his eyes wide. “That could be a training exercise.”

  “Good luck selling that one to Alexander,” I snickered, shaking my head.

  Oh yeah, we had a good laugh at that one. Did we ever. But at least Zibon lost the worry from his eyes that he’d just murdered someone. Taking a life was never easy, and he might not have reacted the best, but being new to any job had its speed bumps. He did it to protect his friend.

  I don’t think anyone could fault him for that, and I was just happy a threat was gone from Theo’s life.

  8

  A week later we still hadn’t mated. Something always came up or I’d see the fear in his eyes as if reality had sunk in and we were insane for even thinking it when we didn’t know each other better, hadn’t been together longer. Basically there were a million reasons for us not to mate.

  But only one that mattered and we loved each other seemed like a damn good one.

  He was pulling away though or… I didn’t know. I could feel the conflict in him, and I didn’t like it, not when he wouldn’t share it with me.

  And it came to a head when I was making love to him. Our bodies were perfectly in sync, knowing what they wanted, needed even, but then he gave me that funny look and glanced away and everything I had with Theo came crashing down on me.

  Guilt. He looked guilty.

  This is pity sex. That’s why he won’t mate me. I stopped moving, my chest heaving as I stared down at him, but he wouldn’t meet my gaze. Without a word, I pulled out of him, got off the bed, yanked on my boxers, and left the room, slamming the door on my way out. I didn’t even realize where I was going until I was in the living room, grabbing a drink from the sidebar and staring into the fire that was still going.

  “Evan, come back to bed,” Theo murmured a few minutes later.

  I shook my head. “You could have told me and I would have just gone back with the others. Mark, Zibon, and Lance are more than qualified to protect you until you hire some private security. You didn’t need to keep me around.”

  “That’s not what—”

  “Stop lying to me!” I roared, launching my glass into the fireplace as I turned towards him. I saw him shrink back and reeled it in. After what he’d been through, I couldn’t blame him for his reaction to my outburst. Hell, I didn’t even know I had that kind of blowup in me, but my heart was shattering. Maybe that was what it took? “Just end it, Theo.”

  “Evan, that’s the last thing I want,” he gasped as he moved closer.

  I stepped away though. I was too upset and I couldn’t handle him near me. Not after what just happened. “I’m inside you and you can’t look at me. All I see is guilt when you do. We said we wanted to mate but you change the topic when I bring it up. Don’t fucking bullshit me anymore. You can’t deal with conflict after what you’ve been through. I would have understood if it wasn’t working for you or you changed your mind when things settled down. But this jerking me around? I thought you were better than that.”

  “I’m not jerking you around, I swear it.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “Please stop yelling,” he whispered as he plopped onto the sofa and buried his face in his hands.

  I took a few deep breaths and turned away from him. The sight of him was hurting me too much. Even upset, in his robe, smelling like me, reminding me of what we’d been doing was killing me. “I’m sorry.”

  “No, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave or end things. I’ve been a selfish bastard, and that’s why I changed the topic about mating.” He took in a shaky breath, and even as upset as I was, everything in me still screamed to comfort him. “I didn’t understand what you’d be giving up being with me until I started talking to Helios’s friend Cadric on the video conferences. I was talking about feeling so alone, and he says I can’t be all alone if a man I barely knew was willing to give up his whole career and life for me.”

  “What?” I whispered, turning around and blinking at him, noting that he quickly wiped his eyes.

  “Evan, I was so wrapped up in all my own crap, everything that happened to me, my stuff, my problems, I never once stopped to think about you besides my feelings for you. It never crossed my mind that to be with me you�
��d have to leave your camp, give up your rank, your friends, your position as a warrior. How selfish is that? What kind of bastard never thinks about that or what their partner is going through? I felt horrible!”

  “So your answer is to not say anything to me about it for a week and let this just build between us?” I blanched, confounded how that was a logical solution.

  “No, not really. I couldn’t get my head around it with everything else going on. There was the story to spin about Lloyd fleeing and shit to handle about my mother’s cover, and blah, blah, blah. I mean, it wasn’t like I was counting my toes over and over again. I know that’s not an excuse but it’s the reason. And every time I tried to bring it up, I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t fathom why you’d give it all up for me.” He slowly lifted his head and met my gaze, tears in his eyes. “Why? Why would you?”

  “Because I love you,” I rasped. “And Cadric isn’t right, Theo. I’m not giving it all up. I’ll still be a warrior. I’m not the first guy to take a private permanent assignment. Sure, I won’t be at the camp anymore, but I can still go see my friends. It’s not like you live in Argentina. We’re seven or so hours away. If there’s ever a problem, they might call on me for help which is why the rest of your security will be other vampires.”

  “Oh, that’s not what Cadric said,” he muttered.

  “Cadric’s not a warrior. You maybe should ask a warrior about warrior things.”

  He buried his face in his hands again. “I’m sorry. Even the moving and giving up your camp. It never crossed my mind. I never offered to move to you, but then Cadric said I couldn’t and keep my cover. It’s just such a mess and I’m a selfish prick. I didn’t know how to handle it all. I don’t want you to leave, Evan. I love you so much and—” He started softly crying, and I was on the couch, wrapping my arms around him before I even realized it.

  “Theo, just breathe, love,” I whispered as I buried my face in his neck. “I’m not leaving if you want me here. I just need you to share this with me. Tell me what’s going on. You take it all in and on yourself until it’s too much and you break like this. You’re not alone anymore. Let me in.”

  “I’m trying but you’re already giving up so much. You’re getting nothing in return,” he whimpered. “It’s not fair to you. I don’t understand why you’d be okay with it and not even bitch or bring it up to me.”

  “I would get transferred here in a second and I’m not even your man,” Zibon muttered as he sat down on the other chair. I lifted my head and shot him a dirty look. He just shrugged and yawned. “Whatever. Deal with it. We heard yelling and came racing down.”

  “The rest of us were going to give you privacy though,” Mark drawled.

  “Yeah, but we have answers Theo needs that he won’t believe coming from Evan because Evan loves Theo and he shouldn’t have asked Cadric because Cadric’s not a warrior though he spent time at our camp,” Zibon argued.

  It took me a moment to bounce that one around in my head too, but it did make sense in the end.

  “He’s got a point,” Theo muttered as he turned around, wiping his face and checking his robe hadn’t opened. Then he sighed and leaned against me. “God, I’m such a mess and suck at this stuff. I guess a century of never being able to talk about things or bring up what’s on my mind is a hard habit to break.”

  “Not like you’ve had the added shit of being a prisoner,” Zibon added, ticking off his finger as he went. “Lloyd, cover stories, dealing with your company—oh and next week you’re being sworn in as a councilman. No, no pressure there, dude. Cut yourself a break.”

  When Zibon put it like that, I felt like an ass for blowing up.

  “You have that guilty look,” Theo muttered, busting me. “Stop it. I hurt your feelings and you thought I wanted to end things. This is on me. I should have brought it up.”

  “I could have too,” I sighed, hugging him tighter. “Let’s discuss it now and put it behind us.”

  “Smart plan,” he chuckled tiredly. Then he glanced over at Zibon. “Okay, tell me why Evan isn’t giving up everything to be with me and what he’s gaining.”

  Mark snorted. “Besides getting the man he loves in his bed every night and being happier than I’ve ever seen him even with what’s been going on between you guys?”

  Theo blushed and nodded as I kissed his temple.

  “I won’t miss Taco Tuesday,” I started off with, chuckling when Theo gave me a look as if I’d grown another head. Then I launched into my explanation how every Tuesday I was assigned to kitchen duty, which meant not only going in early to fry bacon and sausage for a camp full of carnivores while our full-time cook and other assigned warriors handled other things, but then lugging everything out to the buffet line.

  “And that’s not a punishment?” Theo asked after I explained how many burgers, fries, grilled and fried chicken sandwiches a camp full of twenty-five warriors, a handful of post-trans, and a bunch of pre-trans could eat just for lunch alone. “You have to do that every Tuesday?”

  “Yup,” I chuckled.

  “Wow, living with me is starting to sound pretty good,” he admitted, relaxing against me. “I’m a good cook and Dottie’s the bomb.”

  “Oh, I haven’t even gotten to the horrific part,” I mock whispered as if telling a ghost story. “You’ve seen those big trays of ground beef at Costco, right?”

  “Yeah, they’re like six or seven pounds,” he hedged.

  “How many of those do you think it takes to feed that many vampire warriors and almost warriors?”

  “Oh god,” he groaned, shivering. “At least a dozen.”

  “Yup, at least,” I snickered. “All ground beef with taco seasoning. I smell like it for days.”

  “You do always make me hungry Wednesday and Thursday,” Mark teased.

  “Well maybe you can take over for me now,” I shot right back. He didn’t look too happy at the idea but then shrugged. “You’re thinking you’ll get to eat it fresh, I know, I thought that too, but wait a few weeks and you’ll never want to see a taco again.”

  “No, I love tacos too much. That would be cruel,” he whimpered as he moved the chair cushion in front of him as if to ward off the evil.

  “That would be a fate worse than death for you,” Zibon agreed. “If you get tacos and I get steak night, we’ll switch or something because I can’t have steak ruined for me.”

  “Deal.”

  “Such horrors you’ve suffered,” Theo sniffled jokingly, glancing up at me. “Thank god I’m saving you.”

  “There’s more. You haven’t seen the dorms.” I paused for effect, his eyes shining with mirth and the tension gone. “We share a floor bathroom and have to clean it ourselves, like after each other. There’s no real privacy.” Theo gasped. “I know, right? And all I get is a tiny little fridge in my room. That’s it. The closet is so small that I can’t even fit in it.”

  “You poor, poor man,” he cooed. “So really you fell for my closet space before we even hooked up, didn’t you?”

  “Totally,” I chuckled. “That walk-in had me from the moment I saw it.”

  Theo stared at me a moment with a soft smile. “Thank you. I promise to figure out a way to talk to you next time and not just bottle it all up. I’ll get better at this.”

  “We both will, sweetie.”

  “My work here is done,” Zibon yawned, standing up and stretching like a man pleased with himself.

  Dork. Whatever, I was more focused on Theo than the guys saying goodnight and leaving us alone.

  “Wanna mate?” I murmured, swallowing loudly as I watched Theo’s reaction.

  “Yes please,” he whispered as he undid his robe and slid his leg over my lap. “I love you, Evan. Please never think I don’t no matter what’s going on. You’re it for me, so there will be another explanation if I’m being an idiot.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” I parted his robe and drank in his gorgeous body, running my hands over his soft, naked skin. “All mi
ne now, right?”

  “I always was yours. You just had to find me and free me.”

  I met his eyes and realized for the first time he’d freed me from my confinements and sheltered life as much as I’d freed him. What we had was way more than me being the warrior who rescued him, and I understood that now.

  And I wouldn’t ever forget it again.

  The End

  Sneak Peek: Love’s Distance

  (Warrior Camp 7)

  Camp medic, Sam Gatewood, had feelings for a blond-haired pre-trans, even though he knew better. Inexplicably drawn to Bowie Shade, Sam helped him years ago, in his time of need, but when Bowie attempted to take things further, he told him they should wait until after Bowie’s transition to warrior, that some distance will put the line they almost crossed into perspective.

  But the feelings never went away.

  Bowie took his hurt heart and devoted his energies to his warrior training, giving himself some distance from thoughts of Sam. Unfortunately, one of his first assignments outside the camp puts him directly in Sam’s path—the only man he has ever wanted. But maybe during a mission isn’t the best time to have the discussion about how they feel… What could possibly go wrong?

  Even though absence is said to make the heart grow fonder, it doesn’t for Sam and Bowie. Will they learn to get on the same wavelength and look beyond hurt feelings, or will the distance between them grow past where they can reach for each other?

  1

  A Few Years Ago

  I felt it before I saw or heard anything—that gut-wrenching empathy that tore through me when someone hurt near me. It was my gift, or curse, depending on how people looked at it. I glanced up from the book I was reading as I walked from the main building to the warriors’ dorms in time to see a flash of blond hair before the figure was gone again, the pain definitely coming from them.

  As always I was like a moth to a flame, their pain almost a compulsion I couldn’t avoid. I followed it, wanting to help, needing to the moment I felt it.