Love's Suspicion Page 5

  After a few back and forth messages that really didn’t tell me much of anything besides seeming like there was no plan, I asked him if we could Skype or Facetime later. He agreed after telling me he’d have to figure it out on his phone, and he had a few late things to handle, so hopefully I wouldn’t mind the time.

  I wouldn’t. I could nap and wake up to talk to him. Whatever. I just wanted to talk to him.

  The rest of the day flew by, including the workout after dinner that helped me feel a bit more like I was on the mend. I took a long, hot shower to take care of my muscles before heading to my room to look over some new order form system of supplies that Falcon was changing up with the help of Gaius to get us more perks.

  I didn’t know if getting a few choices of shampoo was a perk, but it was a good start to make us feel like someone might give a shit about us. I hated the way warriors were used like names on a list of disposable assets instead of people who did the job others couldn’t, that we were sacrificed to do. That wasn’t something to be taken lightly or act like we were interchangeable, completely expendable.

  After I handled that and got dressed, I noticed the key to Sen’s room and actually decided to sleep there so I’d be in his bed when he called.

  Which he really liked, it seemed.

  My phone notifying me of a Skype call woke me, and I quickly accepted, rubbing my eyes.

  “I woke you. I’m sorry, lovely,” Sen greeted.

  “No, it’s fine. Your bed’s so comfy I couldn’t help myself.”

  There was a pause before he cleared his throat. “You’re in my bed?”

  “You caught that, huh?” I teased, flipping the view around so he’d see it even with just the small table light there.

  “Yeah, I caught it, and you’re shirtless in my bed,” he murmured. “Will you grant an old, dirty man a fantasy? I really did want to ask you about your day and fill you in because I figured my being cryptic was driving you nuts.”

  “It was, and yes, I’ll do something dirty for you,” I chuckled, guessing what he wanted. I threw back the covers and yanked down my sleep pants, showing him my now interested dick. “Is this your fantasy, Sen?”

  “Yeah, yeah it is,” he panted, licking his lips. “Shit, I want to suck that, lovely. Can I when I come back to you? Will you let me suck it all night and taste you again and again?”

  “You like my dick that much?”

  “I love your big cock, and your cum is my new favorite treat,” he confessed, and hearing it made my dick twitch. “Oh, does he like that? Does he miss me?”

  “Yes and yes,” I moaned. “Shit, Sen, I never thought I’d get into dirty talk, but I’m so into it if it’s you.”

  That seemed to be all the green light he needed because he proceeded to list every dirty fantasy he had or anything he wanted to do with me. The list was a bit short because I couldn’t last long hearing it all. Then I went for something bold given how much he seemed to love all kinds of fun even if I felt like a tool doing it.

  I brought my hand to my mouth after flipping around the camera view and licked a few drops of my own spunk up. “Doesn’t taste the same when it’s not with you.”

  “Shit, you are too fucking much,” he groaned, his eyes glazing over with lust. “Shit, shit , I want to come back to you!”

  “What are you doing there?” I asked, wiping my hand off on my pants so he didn’t see it. I did it to tease him, not because I really wanted to lick up my own stuff.

  He let out a heavy sigh. “There’s been an issue of the Bratva kind.”

  It took me a minute to place where I’d heard the term before. My eyes went wide. “You mean like Russian mafia? You went to tangle with the Russian fucking mafia ? Are you nuts?”

  He smirked at me, looking like he was swallowing down a laugh. “Lovely, you are too much. You think some humans with guns who are mostly bluster will remotely do much more than annoy me?”

  “Well, when you put it like that, I sort of sound stupid worrying,” I grumbled, even giving a huff. “I grew up human, remember? To humans they’re some of the baddest of the bad. I mean, even other organized crime families think those guys are nuts because they don’t follow rules of family being off limits and stuff.”

  “I apologize. Yes, to your generation, they are intimidating, as you could still be hurt greatly by their illegal weapons, but I’ve seen such groups come and go over my years, El. The weapons might have gotten better, but I’ve become quite hard to kill.”

  “Good,” I said after a moment, the pause awkward. He hadn’t been picking on me, but it was the first real time our age gap was… Tricky.

  “Forgive me?”

  “Nothing to forgive,” I promised, letting it go. “Okay, so you’re taking out Bratva?”

  This time his heavy sigh came with an eye roll. “The annoying fuckers have basically declared the Port of Los Angeles theirs and are giving the squeeze to everyone here, hitting the transports to and from the port, demanding protection payments to make it stop—the regular mafia shtick. Very annoying. They ‘found’ one of my cargo trailers coming in and are demanding a finder’s fee for its safe return.”

  “ One of your cargo trailers? What sort of cargo are you shipping?”

  “Does it matter?” he challenged. “Why do you care what my business is?”

  I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up, maybe unfairly since Tadzio used to get annoyed with me when I asked personal stuff, but it was also a warning sign this wasn’t real… I was simply real convenient.

  “I’m going to go,” I grumbled, fixing my pants and the bedding, no longer wanting to be in his bed and feeling the fool. “You’re doing something—whatever there, and I’ve got to get up early and—”

  “El, wait, I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I’ll see you when I get back. I’ll slip the key under your door after I lock up.”

  “Lovely, wait , please?”

  “Goodnight, Seneca.” I cut the call when I felt tears burning in my eyes. Was I really going to be the fool again? Could I really be so stupid to fall for bullshit twice?

  My phone notified me that he was trying to call me back, but I ignored it. I got my stuff and remade his bed before heading out. I was about to slip the key under the door when my phone vibrated for like the tenth time that said I had a message. Sighing, I pulled it out and read the last one.

  El, I’m sorry. Please, please call me. I don’t understand what I did. I don’t want to talk about my finances yet when we’re so new. It’s always an upsetting topic and—I just want to wait on that. Why did that upset you? Please talk to me!

  I took in a few slow breaths and let them out before deciding to keep the key, answering as I headed back to my room.

  I didn’t ask about your finances. I asked what you were shipping, like what job you have. It’s a normal question to ask someone you’re starting to date. You not wanting to answer makes it like I won’t be around long enough to bother explaining it to or not important enough to get personal with. I assume you’ve got gobs of money given your age. I don’t care. I can pay for my own shit, and I’m not looking for some sugar daddy nor to just be the big cock to someone who won’t talk to me about their life. Make sense now? I’m going to bed, have a safe trip.

  I shut off my phone then. Maybe it was childish, and I didn’t mean it to be, but my heart hurt. I had one night, one fucking night , to feel hope and anything other than pain, and now it was like I’d gotten smacked back ten steps. Fuck it. Sticking my head out was stupid.

  I was stupid.

  I also slept like shit given how upset I’d been.

  When I reached the main building the next morning, there was something going on and I about turned around and went back to bed… Except I saw people glancing at me as if it was about me.

  “At least they’re not huge coolers of stuff this time,” Rune muttered as he handed me a few cards. “And Alexander’s been removed from duty, so Helios is in charge of this stuff.
Forgive him.”

  He walked off, not explaining what he meant, but when he moved, I could see what he was referring to at least. There were three huge, I mean massive , gift baskets. I glanced from them to the cards, filling in the blanks they were for me.

  “Zibon got these crazy shipping coolers of like live crabs and cleaning out bakeries from Italy when Alastair was sniffing after him. Verge got presents from Nero and Gaius,” Mark explained as he moved up next to me.

  I flinched. “I thought Gaius was interested in Falcon?”

  “Dude, I have no clue what’s going on anymore. All I know is this place is filling with more pheromones and smells of sex than a human frat.” He walked off, shaking his head.

  Okay then. Not my problem, and I wanted to read my cards.

  Lovely,

  I did not mean how it sounded in the slightest. I’m sorry I took the annoyance of my trip out on you. I did not mean to be so short or curt with you. I was thrilled you wanted to video call me, and instead of being happy you wanted to know more about me, I let old hurts influence my actions. I want nothing more than to be there with you to say this in person, but I cannot yet. Please take my call tonight? Please?

  I miss you already, El.

  Seneca

  Well damn. He was good, and I had let my old hurts do the same. Shit. Couldn’t really blame him for that. I turned on my phone and flinched as it vibrated nonstop for about a minute as all the messages came in. I got the gist after the first few and felt horrible he was so upset. I didn’t even get to the end of them or my other cards—or look at the baskets—before I called him directly.

  “Hey, hi, umm, hey,” he greeted. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” I murmured as I walked back outside, smiling at how cute he was being. “I’m sorry.”

  There was a pause. “Why are you sorry? I messed up.”

  “Because I did what you did and let past hurt cloud your reaction.” I sighed. “I stayed too long once, Sen. It made everything hurt so much worse to know the signs were there to bail and I ignored them. To me it was a big flashing sign I was going to be stupid again. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve me jumping right to that.”

  “No, I could see how it would look like that,” he murmured. Then he sighed in annoyance. “Hang on.” I heard some shuffling, which made me frown, then a scream, which I hadn’t been ready for. “Do you want to die faster, fucker? Let me take this call and make up with my boyfriend! Don’t you think it’s smart for me to be happier right fucking now?”

  “What are you doing?” I hissed when I heard his huff like the phone was back to his ear.

  “Things got a big complicated. I won’t be right back after I get my shipment because I found out they’ve been shipping live cargo and intercepted some other live cargo. So I’ll be handling that too.”

  “I hear you,” I muttered, guessing he meant humans from the way he was inflecting that word. “Shit, yeah, help them. I understand.”

  “Okay, good, because I really do want to come back to you. This was supposed to be a few days, but now I don’t know.”

  “I’m sort of flattered you took my call while that busy,” I told him honestly. “And all the messages I didn’t even get through yet. I had to call you right away when I saw you were so upset.”

  “Thank you for that. I tend to… I get a bit wound up when I don’t understand or mess up. Hysterical sounds so childish, but it’s not exactly wrong too.”

  “We all do,” I assured him. “Don’t get hurt, okay? I mean, hurry back, but don’t get hurt because you did.”

  “I promise. Are we good now? Did you like your gifts?”

  I chuckled. “I didn’t even look yet. I didn’t want you upset after I read the one card and immediately turned my phone back on and then called you. I’m sure they’re amazing, and thank you.”

  “Thank you for being more concerned about me than material things,” he whispered, his tone different, like it touched him I would do that. “Anything you want from Los Angeles?”

  “I don’t know much about LA. Just come back, Sen. That’s all I want.”

  “Lovely, don’t worry about me. I promise I’m fine . There is no danger for me here.”

  “Okay, well, don’t be wrong.”

  “Your concern touches me in a way I can’t explain. It pleases me to no end, but I hate you are worried,” he murmured in my ear. “If that makes sense.”

  “It does. It’s like I’m proud you immediately jump in to save humans and hate for you to be gone at the same time. Nothing is ever simple.”

  “No, no it is not.” He let out a huff. “I have to go. This idiot doesn’t seem to understand he’s bested. He just broke his own wrist to try and get out of the restraints, as if that will save him.”

  “Talk tonight?”

  “I’d love that. No misunderstandings this time.”

  “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt this time and not freak out.”

  “Just be you, El, that’s all I want.”

  I smiled as we hung up. When had anyone ever said that to me before?

  Never.

  Yeah, never .

  4

  The next few weeks, I fell into a comfortable pattern of helping the construction while overseeing some pre-trans in the morning before they went off to training classes now that Dimitri had time to organize and come up with new plans for all of the transfers. Then I would get my own workout in and whatever training I could fill in that I needed.

  After dinner, I would help other younger warriors drive trucks and position trailers to where the construction would pick up next. It was a bit tedious and really not much fun, but we were getting so much done, and with the winter coming too fast, it helped.

  All the Game of Thrones jokes from those not used to Wyoming weather were annoying, though. There was life beyond that show.

  I would end the day with a call from Sen before crashing, getting more sleep than I did in Quebec but really not enough to heal as I should. I think he understood that since the calls were getting shorter because he kept saying something was up.

  I was smarter than believing that. I did think it sweet he was trying to take care of me while handling so much.

  I really wished he was back, though, especially when the inquisition started with the other councils all coming in and craziness with the other warrior camp and Wyrok overseeing it all. And unfortunately I lost my temper when I laid eyes on Mike Garrow, standing smugly by his douche father, and went for him. Evan stopped me, and instantly I forced myself to cool it so I didn’t hurt him.

  Falcon got hurt, though, his nerves and family shit eating him in a way that about killed me to watch. So after his testimony and then his mom’s, there was the break for lunch, and I couldn’t take watching him hurt anymore. I got him out of there, Gaius taking over for me and keeping him safe, tended to… And away from the assholes who were demanding answers of us.

  Which chapped my ass, especially after learning a few of them tried to kill us with a sniper. Yeah, I really wanted Seneca there.

  The next morning, I was out of patience for the whole thing, not being all that polite when they tried to get Falcon to continue instead of moving on at least for a bit. They were going to handle Mike next, but several threw a fit that I hadn’t gone yet. Fine, better to get it over.

  “No, you’re not doing your gift with me,” I immediately told Helios as he moved closer to me like he was up.

  “You will submit to all our questions and answer for your—”

  “Fuck you, Garrow,” I cut in, rolling my eyes at the man, his bluster, and the people who gasped that I talked to him that way. “Dude, you’re so dead with what was already said here.” I waved him off like a fly when he opened his mouth again and focused on Helios. “Do you like breathing? Do you want to stay alive for Rune?”

  “Of course,” he murmured, studying me closely.

  “Did you see the way Falcon just about passed out and lost control when you used your gift on h
im?” I taunted, annoyed they hadn’t put this together yet. He gave a slow nod. “Do you think it wise I not be in complete control of my gift in a room full of people?”

  “Yeah, he makes a pretty damn good point,” Helios agreed, glancing at the main Wyrok guy, Claudius.

  “Is your gift that unstable?” Claudius asked, and I saw something in his eyes that he thought this would work well for our side.

  “Yes, but—”

  “Which is why those with that gift were immediately handled when they were found,” a council member from our council bitched as he jumped to his feet.

  “What?” I breathed, all the air coming out of me in a rush like he’d punched me.

  He smirked at me. “Did your smart mouth keep you from hearing me? Yes, we handle people like you for the safety of all.”

  His arrogance and bitchiness helped me rally. “So your wise decision to do what’s best for vampires is to put some down like fucking rabid dogs because you’re incapable of giving younger vampires the help they need? That’s the way you ‘handle’ problems as almighty council?” I saw in his eyes I was an idiot for not getting it. “Fucking try it, asshole. That’s insane .”

  “As you’ve said, you’re unstable. Have you killed accidentally?” he taunted.

  “Ask me first if I warned them to get away from me,” I snapped, jumping to my feet. “I warned her. And I’m sorry for what I did, but it was her fear, her disbelief that men could be gay that led to the outcome. It was her panic because of the situation you had a hand in letting happen. Do we get to talk about killing you for having a hand in hundreds of deaths?”

  “Besides, he killed enough zakasacs where any of the esteemed councils would gladly write off one accidental death as an acceptable loss,” Seneca drawled as he walked into the cafeteria. “Forgive my delay, but apparently there was some confusion as to whether we could fly out or be able to land yesterday.” He shot some shit looks at several not on our side.

  Great. Just fucking great. Anything else they were going to try and pull?